My men and Memorial Day,,,

This Memorial Day has provoked some unusual and nostalgic thoughts on the servicemen in my family - my life in particular.

PBS had a wonderful Memorial Day celebration program on Sunday after we came home from spending time with Missy Aubrey and her mom and dad. They first showed a documentary on "Honored Gardens" - the cemeteries of American soldiers who died serving their country in overseas conflicts. Our overseas neighbors who live near these remote gardens find solace and comfort in taking care of our honored dead as a way of thanking the United States for bringing freedom to their countries. I found this particularly touching when realizing that our own country has seemed to become somewhat ambivilent to this holiday and, as with "other" holidays, have given a "new" reasoning to the celebration - the beginning of the summer holidays.

The next program was a concert dedicated to honoring the fallen soldiers AND widows of service personnel from all recent wars. It was held on the grass in front of the Capital Building and was very stirring.

The thoughts that swirled after viewing these two shows reminded me of the incredible Providence of God in the lives of the men in my life. I am the daughter of a Korean veteran, Captain Warren F. T., a chaplain stationed active duty US Army in the conflict prior to my birth. I am the sister of a Vietnam veteran, Sgt. Warren F. T., Jr., stationed as a member of the US Army's President's Honor Guard in Washington, D.C. I am married to Sgt. Ralph Michael M., US Army veteran of the same conflict in which my father served - Korean Conflict. The most current evidence of this overshadowing protection is that I am the mother of Sgt. 1st Class Christopher M. M., US Marine Corps, an Iraqi War veteran.

"O Lord, You have searched me and know me. You know when I sit down and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts afar off. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You know it completely. You hem me in - behind and before; You have Your Hand upon me...All the days ordained for me were written in your Book before one of them came to be." Isaiah 139:1-5,16.

The humbling part of this whole senario is that God's Hand so providentially protected each of these men in my life so that I would be able to be...who I am - daughter, sister, wife, and mother. I am blessed, Abba...thank You.

Tomorrow's another day...

And that rough day has past and one moves on...

It is days from the end of school, and this is a very odd ending. I have only one senior this year. He has been so faithful to come to the 7 am class every day but didn't accomplish as much as I would have hoped. But, maybe our time together wasn't totally about AP Art. He is a great young man with a very good head on his shoulders and seems to be a man after God's own heart. I pray that he will remain steadfast...

I have made a rather drastic response to my "very bad day" at my place of work. No, I didn't quit...I have no where else to go when God says stay. I just began a purge - of anything that hadn't moved in the last four years. It was a good thing really. I feel good about what I threw out AND what I found in the process. And I now am surrounded by my "stuff" and what was once clutter is now vanished.

I find the stress of the last weeks of school difficult to stomach sometimes...no, everytime. Some teachers are overloading with tests, the admin is stressing over letting the staff know what their jobs entail for the coming year, and, "oh, yeah, by the way, did I tell you that you will be teaching five new classes of canoe repair and basket weaving to attention deficit children?"

Yes, I still am a little touchy...but isn't that what blogs are for? To spill your guts to the millions of those who could care less - let alone my five faithful followers? Happy almost summer, you guys, and you know who you are!! And blessings, of the best kind...

Rough day...

It was a dark and rainy day...no, wait. It was sunny and beautiful finally, as the weather finally broke. But the weather was just an opening.

I don't usually give in to things that jerk my chain, but yesterday was just one of those days that if any stray straw was headed in my direction, my camelback would have split in two! There must have been a memo sent to the world (at least to the small world around me) that this was the day to put me on their "poop" list, and make sure that I knew it.

Try as I might, in the midst of the struggle (and I do mean struggle!), to ask God to "help me keep my head about me, while all around me have lost theirs" I gave in to the resolve that I no longer wanted to be on their "poop" lists, and the proverbial "they" could cross me off their life list, too! My day of 'doormat' had come to a shouting match end (in my head, of course! A lady doesn't use those words out loud. ;o), and I was not laying down again!

There come times in a person's life, where even the good that they do, is:
1. never seen
2. misinterpreted and therefore
3. misunderstood
4. unappreciated because of self-absorption of the receiver
5. used as ammunition by an intimidator
6. seen only by the One who "stores our tears in a bottle"to reward jewels
for another day.

Please do not misunderstand. I am not about gaining pity, recognition, appreciation, or any other thing to draw attention to myself. Not the point of the above diatribe. It was just a crappy day and, I found myself here and just thought I would share it, in hopes that my five readers (hah, hah!) might identify.

After the argument in my head subsided, hours later, I was able to sort out some benefits of the struggle, and realize that sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you. And I was still able to go to sleep last nite knowing that I answer only to Abba, and HE LOVES ME - eloquent potty mouth and all...after all, a lady never says all that out loud. ;o)

2010 Mother's Day

Wow, it's crazy that I haven't written on this for so long! But, it is the nature of my job to be crazy wild in the spring and the "roller coaster" is one that you just jump on and hang on 'til the wild ride is over - or at least slows enough for you to see normally.

Today has been special - for some reason an especially poignant reminder of the privilege I have had to be the mother to three pretty extraordinary people. Maybe it was my first Mother's Day as a "Gamma" that caused the introspection, but realizing that MY CHILD was now a mother herself, brought out the awesome thought that I have three amazing kids, that have grown up to be people I'm glad to know, let alone be their mom.

Life has funny moments that cause the "water in the face" awareness that time marches on and sometime seems to run away with some treasures of moments never forgotten and always held close to this mother's heart.

I love you, Chris, Kellan, and Kiera. It is my greatest gift from my Father to be your mom.